Naked Jump

[Veis 33]

Морозным хмурым днем, когда до знойного лета оставалось как раз полоборота небесного колеса, в укладочной на втором этаже коломенской казармы случилось удивительное оживление. Групповички побросали каталки, студент неуклюже вывалился из подвеки - честное слово, даже самые дотошные укладчики забили на свое занятие и возбужденно столпились перед экраном. А там, сверкая в камеру своими первосортными прелестями, кувыркалась в небесных потоках всем известная парашютистка ХХХХХХ.

Сама героиня этого торнадо мужского возбуждения скромно сидела на подоконнике, в стороне, согревая о батарею озябшие после очередного прыжка ноги и неуютно поеживаясь.

И тут один молодой спортсмен, вконец ошалев от нахлынувших гормонов, имел неосторожность заявить - дескать, он и сейчас, того... Готов за тысячу долларов Нэкед Джамп. Мужики недобро покосились на дурака, но он не унимался. Отмазы про натирание мазью и прочий вздор только усугубили ситуацию, зазвучали предложения ответить за базар.

Всем, кроме обделенного рассудком юноши стало ясно, что вот-вот совершится расправа - собрать среди озверевшей от эстрогена аэроградовской братвы тысячу долларов - как два пальца отморозить!

Вдруг, словно незаметная серая мышка, в самую гущу событий прошмыгнула та самая ХХХХХХ, схватила несчастного в охапку и быстро уволокла куда-то, несмотря на его вялые протесты. Чем, вполне возможно, спасла для грядущих

поколений его помидоры. Ибо гормоны - гормонами, но каждому знать надлежит четко: где, когда и кому разрешается болтать выступающими частями тела...

[CANOPYpilot 8]

... И тут один молодой спортсмен, вконец ошалев от нахлынувших гормонов, имел неосторожность заявить - дескать, он и сейчас, того... Готов за тысячу долларов Нэкед Джамп.

Не воткнул в тему... :blink:

Прыгнуть за 1000$ с голой жопой и членом или что сделать?

[Maverick 3]

Фниматєльнее надо бить таварисч!

"Морозным хмурым днем..."

представляешь чтобы-бы было с ним если бы он при минусовой температуре нэйкид замутил? Лечение стоило бы гораздо больше да и то все не вылечили б.

[AlexW 2]

Maverick

Знаю я одного такого молодого, прыгнул "Морозным хмурым днем..." почти голым (плавки на нем были). Сайпрес на дал мальченке вкопатся в землю... Окаченел на столько что не мог дотянутся до медузы основного.

[nemesis 2]

У нас народ регулярно прыгает naked jumps - традиция есть 100/1000 прыжков так отмечать

Мне еще предстоит.

Нашел кстати неплохой FAQ на этот счет (на английском, но что есть то есть):

The naked skydiving FAQ:

<Why would anyone want to jump naked?>

depends. in some places it's a tradition, often performed on one's birthday. in other places it's just a fun thing to do on a hot Saturday, or to make a 6-way a bit more interesting.

<Is it dangerous or illegal or anything?>

it's no more dangerous than any other new skydiving trick you try - that is to say, a little more dangerous that your average freefall, but not by much if you're careful.

public nudity is illegal in many places, so don't get caught. try to avoid offending the whuffos. it is bad form to parade naked through an airport terminal on the way to the plane. emergency shorts or a long shirt can help during an off-airport landing, although your canopy works fine in a pinch.

<Does it feel weird?>

it feels very odd. body hair isn't used to 120 mph of wind. also, you know how your face can flap around in freefall? well, picture your whole body doing that.

<Is it cold?>

Of course it's cold! even on a warm day (60 at altitude) the shock is enough to take your breath away for a second. you get used to it fast, though. and yes - you do experience all the physiological

effects of being cold, which can sometimes be embarrassing.

<Can you still maneuver?>

freefall still works the same way. arching makes you stable, legs-out drives you forward, etc. however, it doesn't feel the same, and that can mess up your flying skills. if you stick your legs out, you feel a lot of wind on your feet, and that can cause you to want to pull your feet back in (for example.)

<Will I fall faster?>

it's been my experience that a typical guy falls a bit slower when naked than when wearing a tight nylon jumpsuit (due to body hair maybe?)

most women fall a bit faster, but for most women the additional speed is not a problem - especially if you've left the weights behind.

<Will I fall out of my harness?>

very unlikely. if your harness fits even halfway decently when clothed, you won't fall out. if your chest strap is already hitting you in the face on opening, it would probably be a good idea to get a

better fitting harness before trying anything like this. you will sit a bit lower in your harness after you open, but not by much.

<How can I get into the plane like that without everyone staring at me?>

if that really bothers you, keep in mind that the objective is to make a naked skydive - not a naked plane trip. a technique that works pretty well:

1. find someplace private and take all your clothes off

2. put a cruddy loose t-shirt on (and a small fanny pack, if you want)

3. put your rig on

4. put a pair of shorts on over the rig

5. put on the rest of your stuff (sandals, altimeter, whatever)

6. just before jump run, loosen your chest strap and yank the shirt out from under the rig (easier than it sounds.)

7. take the shorts off

8. if desired, stuff the shorts/shirt somewhere - an unused ROL pouch works great for this, and a fanny pack isn't too bad either

9. GET A GEAR CHECK BEFORE EXITING! pulling things on and off can open flaps, tug at bridles, etc. yes, someone will see your nakedness, but they're going to see you in the door in a second

anyway.

<What kind of dive should I do?>

pretty much anything you do normally. keep in mind that you'll probably be flying poorly, so don't plan anything too ambitious. a diving exit is generally less painful than a floating exit. keep in mind the complete lack of grippers when designing the dive.

<What about the opening? Will it hurt?>

a normal opening will feel weird, but won't hurt. a hard opening will hurt more than it otherwise would. after opening you will sit a bit lower in the harness, but other than that, canopy control

should not be affected.

<How do I land?>

same as always. if you're not wearing shoes, land someplace soft. if you want to put shorts back on after you land, try to land far enough away so that you'll have time before the crowd gets there.

<Should I get pictures/video?>

sure! keep in mind, though, that those pictures are almost guaranteed to reappear right when you don't want them to - say, during a year-end party, or a boogie, or someone's bachelor party...

<What are things I should watch for?>

a few that come to mind -

whatever you do with clothing in the plane, don't cover up your handles or your container! it could be a very bad thing if you had to bail out at 1500 feet and there was a shirt over your reserve container. also, pulling off a t-shirt over a container can open flaps, pull on RSL's and do other bad things.

if you wear a shirt during the dive for whatever reason, make sure that it will not cover your handles. keep in mind that during opening, you'll be standing up, and the shirt will want to blow up over your head - and that's precisely the time you may need to find those handles. tie the shirt down, use duct tape, or use something over it (a belt? fanny pack?) to keep it under control.

don't plan an unusual dive. if you've never done a 20-way before, this is not the time to start - even if the nature of the dive makes you instantly popular. don't try out new gear for the first time. there are enough new things to deal with on the dive as it is.

be careful who you let spot, and make sure it's not someone who's out to get you. enough said.

don't assume you can track normally. you really can, but the feedback you get from your skin may mess you up. plan for this. either plan to dump in place or warn others about the possible lack of a track.

as always, watch your altitude and be prepared for problems. they can happen no matter what you're wearing.

<Do women really whistle in freefall?>

as far as I can tell that's a myth. (sorry to debunk that particular bit of folklore...) things do flap around quite a bit, though.

[Docent 0]

переведите плиз для малограматных

[nemesis 2]

много переводить. А что там непонятно-то?

[Docent 0]

да как бы все и непонятно моя немецкий учить

[Raider 0]

Docent

nemesis

Docent

Читать, ... переводить, ...

Прыгать надо!

[nemesis 2]

Вот еще текст из закромов родины:

How to do a nude skydive

This is a "how" discussion, rather than a "why" discussion – I'll assume you already have a good reason (or have decided you don't need a good reason).

To get the most out of a nude jump, you'll want a "C" license (речь идет об австралийской "C" - 50 прыжков) and consistent stand-up landings. You might benefit from some of the things I've learned along the way, too.

Emplaning

First of all, you're getting your gear off – NOT your rig off. Taking your rig – or any part thereof – off in the plane is an invitation to disaster; you're asking Murphy to demand an exit when you least expect it. Sufficiently terrified of this, for my first nude jump (made without the benefit of a mentor) I used my hook knife to cut off my clothes on the way up, rather than loosen anything – but nick the lift webbing with said knife, and throw the rig away. A better solution was required!

Here's the golden rule: Any clothing you plan on wearing in the plane – practice removing it on the ground.

Jump runs and emergency exits are no place to find out that your system doesn't work.

Thinking about Gear

1) Clothing – it is advisable to have some form of clothing handy when you land. Boxer shorts can be held in your hand through freefall and landing, but they have the potential to complicate steering, and they're no good to you if you unclench a fist and abandon them 6,000' above Koo Wee Rup Road. Also, putting them on under canopy is (a) surprisingly awkward and (B) a waste of time. I've successfully used a spare pilot chute pouch (such as the legstrap on a rig with BOC and legstrap fitted), or knotted them through the hip ring on the left hand side (and well clear of the reserve deployment handle). These days, I fold then roll them up, and secure them to my chest strap with a pair of rubber bands. Sorted.

Pilots are also pretty handy for making sure your shorts make it back to ground safely, but it does commit you to some time on the ground without them. And be very careful around helicopters - they despise loose articles on the ground that are easily lifted into the rotor vortex.

2) Helmets – a great idea if you're used to one, audible altimeters likewise. I regard them as essential for nude jumps at night (I'm not gaffer taping a torch to my skull, and there aren't too many other places left to stow one). A full-face lid tends to remove much of the sensation, but the advice stands.

3) Shoes – Well, the wind through your toes is fun, until you have to walk through an uncomfortable crop to get home. Turf surfing in bare feet is not for me. Tevas, if approved, are a good compromise.

4) Goggles – "Jumping without goggles is like wearing your eyelids as a hat", says Skud.

5) Legstraps: snug, please, ladies and gentlemen, without overtightening. Loose legstraps lead to chafing under canopy, and the possibly of trapping crucial items of tackle between leg and strap on deployment. Check prior to exit. You have been warned. Elect to put your rig on whilst naked, and place a pair of loose fitting shorts or boxers over your legstraps. Make sure ALL your handles are exposed.

Ladies, you don't want a t-shirt over your rig for obvious reasons – but a loose one underneath your rig can be removed by loosening your chest strap prior to jump run. You could consider wearing a bra - seems every female innately knows how to remove one from underneath clothing or a harness – and a bikini top is, well, just great (if you get stuck, I think most blokes on the load will offer to help out). If all else fails, be creative with a towel, two balloons, an inflatable raft, a pair of skyballs, your boyfriend – or just brazen it out. Which leads neatly to

Special Considerations

Nudity is not always embraced by DZ operators, or the public at large. I've also met a couple of Rel Princesses who think it's "silly"; their loss. However, if you are a whuffo en route to height for your AFF skydive, it may add to your stress levels. If you are the tandem master, and your student is disoriented by a naked "idiot" (TM's description), you may have valid cause for complaint. Here's some food for thought.

Body Odour – consider it, deal with it if necessary. Make the student's experience memorable – not unpleasant. Seating – I like to sit near the pilot, behind the rest of the load. This gives a small amount of privacy, and generally somewhere to stow any clothing not needed for the descent. In colder weather, most pilots use heaters, and this can be handy. The late exit also means my group generally gets to pull high, not a bad thing.

Pilots are your friends in this endeavour - if you're trying to sneak a nude jump in without attention, they are the people who won't radio down and tell the crowd you're coming. Buy jump pilots beer. Especially Baz.

Get a gear check prior to exit. Don't skip this bit, it's an unusual skydive. Yes, someone in the plane will see you naked. You're doing a naked skydive though, remember?

"Door!"

Ready, set: Hang on though: two more thoughts.

Check the spot. Some loadmasters think there's nothing funnier than spotting nude rel off the DZ (right, Slim?) A good general rule to have a pullup cord in your rig anyway, just in case you need to close your container away from the DZ.

Camera Prior to exit: I also like to examine the front and rear float slots for camera people that watched a nudie way disrobe on climb, then climbed out and somehow "forget" to leave with their exit. In this instance, climb out and peel their fingers off the rails (trust me, this assertive approach works – naked people have a strange effect on the clothed).

If you are videoed or photographed whilst skydiving nude, simply assume that the visuals will appear in one or more of the following: ASM, the World Wide Web, on the boogie tape, "Funniest Home Videos", your bar mitzvah, pinned to the work noticeboard - it's easier if you don't kid yourself here. Even if you don't take camera, unless you are very good at concealing your intentions there will undoubtedly be ground based footage which you have no control over.

Understood?

Go!

Seen what happens to faces in freefall? Don't forget to look at what your whole body is doing. I'm always intrigued by the interference patterns that build on my forearms. You'll probably discover things you didn't know about the bits you normally keep covered – skydivers can generally be broken down into "pointers" or "flappers" (or "whistlers", despite the fact that this appears to be simply an urban myth). Regardless, it's an awesome feeling.

Isn't it cold? Heck, yeah. Particularly in winter in Victoria. The Seinfeld episode on "shrinkage" simply had no appreciation for a minus 10° exit - Ron Jeremy on the ground can be Mr Average on exit. Don't let this stop you - for example, Lower Light on a 40° day can be a different and refreshing experience, and air at 0° is nowhere near as painful as water at the same temperature. Ask the pilot for a guide – most of them have thermometers and know how to use them. It's the temperature at 3,000' that's significant – anything above that is only for a minute.

Flying your body

Everything works – but it feels different. Without a jumpsuit to moderate your fall rate, you'll find levels can be an issue on RW loads, even with well matched and experienced people. Ladies seem to fall a little faster, men seem to fall a little slower; there's probably my thesis in that discussion. You probably won't be able to fly as efficiently as you do in a jumpsuit. Keep RW simple at first, and bear in mind that grippers are not found on arms and legs in freefall (which doesn't mean there's nothing to dock on, hmm, Sheeds?) Listen to what your body is telling you about the relative wind, but rely on muscle memory to tell you what's right.

The business end of the jump

Tracking, in particular, feels quite different – but your track position will carry you away from the centre of the formation, so make sure you go with it. If you normally jump with boosters, well, you don't have them here. Break off a little bit higher. Don't be wearing gear you're not familiar with. A safe skydive is a good skydive.

Under canopy

Take advantage of a few minutes out of visual range to get things warm enough to be "normal", should you feel the need (don't overdo it). If you've pitched high, leave your brakes set for a minute, and hold your hands behind your back to warm them up. I've also tried some nude Stiletto CRW, but have to say I no longer recommend it.

Landing

Be careful. And pick your day, too: if you aren't into nil wind landings, landing nude in nil wind is unlikely to improve your technique. If you blow a high-speed landing without a jumpsuit to protect you, expect 8-12 weeks for the evidence to disappear. That's 8-12 weeks of explaining how you got it, too...

Gearing down

Touchdown! You've attracted a crowd? Get your shorts on, or consider wrapping your canopy around yourself until you can gear down gracefully. If you have pants with you, consider landing a reasonable distance from spectators, and shuck off your legstraps first – this means you can walk back with your gear over your shoulder, and gear down modestly in the packing area. If not, you're going to be briefly nude in that public spot – your call!

Log your nude jump; have it signed; and spread the word. If you haven't done a nude jump before, you have one more important duty when the bar opens.

Your nude jump...

That was great! But you're five kilometres from the DZ, barefoot, no pants or pull up cord, found your main and freebag, but it's getting dark and cars speed up rather than slowing down as they pass? You just haven't been listening! Learn from my mistakes!

Nude skydiving can be a great thing – personally, it's a huge release, a celebration, and a dedication all in one. You'll have to find your own reasons. Do it safely, and have fun doing it.

Luke Oliver APF Nudie "B" XXX

[kastorskiy 0]

Читать, ... переводить, ...

Прыгать надо!

найкед

[KoLpAkOff 345]

когда будет тепло и настроение.

Мы давно уже планируем, но вот все погоды небыло. А теперь можно и прыгнуть!

даёшь нэйкед бэйс

[helxen 218]

KoLpAkOff, было

[KoLpAkOff 345]

helxen

зимой :blink:

[AveE 7]

helxen

зимой :blink:

может замерзнуть и отколоцо йух. опасно

[Julianna 0]

Знаете во всем этом меня смущает только один вопрос... Когда летишь в комбезе, оно вроде так ничего, а вот без него... простите, но ... больно, поток наростает а у нас кожа мягкая, изнеженная...

Вот...а по - поводу всего остального, как-то и не беспокоишься

[overflow 0]

helxen

зимой :blink:

было и зимой

[overflow 0]

Знаете во всем этом меня смущает только один вопрос... Когда летишь в комбезе, оно вроде так ничего, а вот без него... простите, но ... больно, поток наростает а у нас кожа мягкая, изнеженная...

Вот...а по - поводу всего остального, как-то и не беспокоишься

Комбез цельнолитой?

[AveE 7]

Julianna

если летом - ничего страшного. ощущения как при массаже средней интенсивности, просто быстром ну в смысле для кожи. а вот для выпирающих мужских органов - это проблема. имея опыт нейкедпрыжков - никогда больше не пойду прыгать ситфлай без трусов

[Julianna 0]

Комбез цельнолитой?

Да, а какая разнца то? Все равно в нейке мне оно не поможет

[Гость Hagen]

Julianna, это, наверное, как жОсткий массаж

я вот тут подумала... судьба моя сложилась так, что тандема в ней так и не было... так же, как не было еще и нэйкида... опять же, нашару еси че кидають... тряхнуть чтоля стариной?

[Alexander-1 0]

Да-да! И не забудь про видео!!!

[AveE 7]

Да-да! И не забудь про видео!!!

голый оператор?

[Alexander-1 0]

Дык, а в чем проблема?

"Глупый пингвин робко прячет."

Я - За!

[Гость Hagen]

Да-да! И не забудь про видео!!!

голый оператор?

есть желающие?